Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Cross Roads

Life is moving. I am standing still. Somedays or so it seems.

Since Sunday I have gotten rid of:

A baby swing
A baby carrier
42 hangers
Burp Clothes
Baby Bathtub
Baby Wash clothes/towel
bottle warmer for the car
handful of clothes

And while I didn't make a fist full of money nor did I gain LOTS of space in my home sending these items to someone who could use them makes a HUGE difference

The lady who bought the hangers she has two daughters of her own (and a son or two too) and she heard there was a lady in our neighborhood who was facing being homeless at the end of the month. This lady is allowing the other lady (and her kids) to move in with her for a few months. The hangers could be of great use.

The lady who bought the baby bathtub is very nervous about being a first time mom. Nervous about having enough money. Nervous about working now and working after. Doesn't have many family members (only child--daughter of only children type setting I don't remember the exact thing she told me) and is hoping if she buys some little things here and there that the family who wants to get her something for a shower.......would be willing to pool money together for the bigger item like a crib or stroller.  She also got a handful of clothes and some burp clothes.

The lady who bought the bottle warmer. She was ridiculously excited because she had looked for an item like this for a long time. Who knew something I had owned for years and used maybe twice would be a sought after item?

The point is these items were needed by others. I didn't need them. I am not using them but they could have still been used. I am glad that I was able to help others. And because I am me I just want to get rid of things not really make a huge profit. While I didn't come back with a fist full. My heart is full knowing that things my babies loved will be loved even more.

Where am I going with all of this from the beginning I said my life was standing still. I am about to give up my fight with the insurance. Give up my fight with the hospital. give up my fight with the anesthesiologist group. In the end you can't fix stupid. I have lost sleep. I have cried. I have yelled. I have called. I have called. I have called.

In my heart I want to quit. My health wants me to quit (lack of sleep makes me grumpy). But I know them winning is what THEY WANT. They have no problem not backing down wanting to wear the consumer out. It is all about money. It is all about greedy fingers. The fist full of cash. The wads of money. It isn't about the person who it is affecting or effecting. It is about them.

I told them just 4 weeks ago that my next step if this was not resolved "Today" I was going to contact our state board of insurance. And 4 weeks later it is not resolved and it makes me sick to think of needing to call the state board. I am just sick of being treated like a cattle number.

What ARE they doing?
They are figuring my deductible based upon two numbers. Yes, only two. Two big ones. And saying I still owe a lot. They aren't looking at the $1.85 or the $50 or any other small number that was applied to my deductible. No, they are taking two big bills and adding them together and saying I owe whatever is left still (which is more then what I show I owe). So when I call the other places---yeah they talk to me like I must have 7 heads when I say I've already paid x and they say 'but your insurance told us it applies to deductible and you overpaid somewhere else-someone owes you a refund.'

At this point I like being me. I like helping others. I live for life and not a fist full of money. Life is everything and you take it with you you give it to others daily (through words and expression). Life is the only thing you take with you when you die. Money is an object. People think it makes them happy but in the end you can't take it with you.

So pardon me. Life will not be on hold because others can't do math and can't be more of a people person. They are out to eat the little guy!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

On my own

Well, a few years ago I had to conquer a fear. Not that I enjoy the conquering of fear but it is releasing to know I am not tied to a fear.

The fear:
Climbing in the attic

A few years ago we had a water leak. The leak caused me to call my husband and he had me go in the attic (he could not leave work to come home I had to do this) and let him know what I found. Knocked knees and all I did it but truthfully it took me about 40 minutes to convince myself to get on the attic stairs and to the landing of the attic. I had no clue where to look or even what I was looking at or for but I did it because well I had to.

I remember crying. I was afraid. Afraid of the stairs. Afraid of the height. Afraid of falling through. Afraid of finding a dead animal.

But I did it.

And now here I am years later. The attic is a little more organized. The fear is gone. I can even put all of the Christmas decor away.

There is something great about relieving yourself of any fear of something that you've feared for a long time. Sometimes there is a perk to being able to do something on your own. It isn't because you did not need help it is simply because you came this far that it is pure accomplishment.

Monday, January 12, 2015


My (older) kids are in a time of "favorites" they always have a favorite choice or a competition of favorites. Sometimes their favorite is only to make their sibling fuss, reality is they only said it was a favorite to get the rise out of them.

Like my daughter has a favorite doll. She's had Lucy for 5 years.
My son has a favorite stuffed toy. He's slept with chop for 8 years.

They have favorite shirts that they wear over and over again.
They have favorite pants the ones they have holes in the knees.

A favorite place or memory of a place.

A favorite book.
A favorite subject in school.

But reality is they strive to be The Favorite:
The favorite sibling
The favorite child
The favorite cousin
The favorite grandchild
The favorite friend

I've noticed that when we go outside to play everyone plays until another player is factored in. When that person is factored in someone is left out. Our street has several children whom my kids can play with (when the weather is well).

4 kids across the street and 4 kids on our side of the street that we can play with on a more regular basis. Reality is there are at least 10 other kids on the street and 5 of them are on the "teenage/middle/high school range."

One day we were outside and all was well until a neighbor kid came home with his grandma. Suddenly no one was good enough another friend only wanted the kid who just got home to come out and play too. This began a living tantrum that lasted for what seems like eternity.

So my question is??????

Do you spend time with your favorite person?
Do you do your favorite thing?
Do you reminiscese on your favorite memory?

If your not.....take a moment to thank God you have a moment to have all of your favorites.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

The life

Life is about to get busy.
Granted, a good kind of busy. I was recently told that others may be deterred from doing various activities because it is perceived that we are so busy. We are only as busy as we want to be.

Such as the same.....our life is about to get busy.

Coming up on Saturday I need to see if I can find childcare for the two littles for a few hours. If I don't get someone it isn't life shattering or the end of the world.

Saturday my daughter has a badge workshop through her troop. She is earning the cupcake badge (I say cupcake but it is really cake decorating, but we are going to a local bakery that specializes in cupcakes). This shop (owner/staff) is a Cupcake Wars winner. So therefore I call it the "Cupcake badge"

Saturday my oldest son has activities all day in another county which include an overnight stay.

Sunday my daughter has another meeting but this time it is a full meeting but we are supposed to do woodworking, but I will just plan to have the littles with their dad for that meeting.

Then we have mass week of this that and the other.

Friday sometime (not tomorrow but a week from tomorrow) we have company coming. Friends are coming to town to watch my marathon man run well, a marathon on Sunday. Friday we also have our 3 oldest signed up for childcare and hopefully we will go out to a quiet(er) dinner with our friends.

Saturday (next week still) marathon man and thing 1 will be running a 5k. Maybe one of our friends will join them in the 5k but the other was recently in a car accident and will not be participating in the 5k.

Sunday (yes, 9 days away) marathon man will run his marathon.

The next two weekends will be cluttered with scouting for food and other events.

The thing is.....we paid for the overnight trip.
The thing is.....we paid for the 5ks / marathon
The thing is....we are paying for the childcare

No one forces us to participate in the events. Yes, there are times that we even "roll our eyes to one more thing" but this is the 1 activitiy our kids have. We don't have them in sports, dance, gymnastics, chess club, lego club, TaeKwando or any other activity.

So pardon me while I clean my house in anticipation of company coming. Reality is......I only get like 1 hour a day.