Thursday, October 23, 2014

Ellusive Sleep

So I should celebrate the fact that my son is going to bed at a more normal time and sleeping a wee bit longer stretches of time. However, I don't get those longer stretches of sleep any more but my husband get's his sleep back.

It was:
I would feed En until the older kids went to bed. I'd do a few things then I would go to bed myself. My wonderful husband would take the next feeding. At like midnight-ish. By then I had already been asleep for a few hours and I'd get to sleep a few more hours because he put him to bed. (The joys of pumping bottles).

En would go to bed. Hubby would go to bed.  I would get up for the next feeding. My husband would still be sleeping. I'd go back to bed. He would get up and get ready for work. (Note: there sometimes were 2+ feedings before he got up).

It is now:
I feed En. I get the few chores done. I go to bed. En goes to bed. Daddy might feed an ounce or two but usually he is quite satisfied.

He sleeps for about 3-4 hours (instead of 2). So now it is past the daddy time. Husband sleeps. I feed. I put baby back to bed and husband gets up and readies himself for work.

It was:
Kaje took 2 naps a day. The older kids and I did school during nap one. I took a siesta during nap two.

It is now:
Kaje takes 1 nap a day. We still do school usually in the morning and En takes a longer nap in the afternoon (I swaddle him and put him in the cradle during Kaje's naptime cause soon they will share a room) otherwise he naps in the pack and play in the family room.

I do not get a siesta. I do not even get to close my eyes usually.

Though things have changed in the last 5 weeks. Well, actually in the last year (finding out I was pregnant when my youngest was just 4 months old) I guess I am doing fairly well. I currently am not in a sleep deficit. I was more tired while in the last month of pregnancy then I am in the first month of having 4 kids.

I don't venture out as much right now. It isn't that it is hard. Well, it is harder. I can't do a full blown shopping trip unless I want a kid to push a shopping cart or the stroller. At this point neither my 8 year old or my 6 year old are good cart drivers with a kid in the cart. I prefer that to be an adult's job.  Also, En is only 5 weeks old. Yes, we have taken him places but the point is......he's still very little. He doesn't NEED to be out that much but I am not afraid to take him out either.

So right now I am wasting my good sleep time. Blogging so in 5 years I remember how tired I was and I will likely wish I could only be this tired again. In 5 years I will have a teenager, a preteen, a 6 year old and a 5 year old. LOL

Monday, October 20, 2014

Rat Race

The last few weeks it has been "here. here. here. there there there there here there here there." Non stop. I kid you not.

I got to see my husband on Thursday after work. I really did not see him again until Saturday afternoon. Why because of the here. there. there. here. here. there.  Yes, it is true.

Friday he got up and went to work. Hubs went to a wedding (the kids and I opted not to go due to the 7pm time and we would have had 2 cars in a city 45 minutes away--in no traffic). He got home late. After I had put the kids through the shower/bath and to bed. In fact I was asleep when he got home. I woke when he asked me a question.

Saturday he got up at 5am to go golfing with his dad. The golf course was a an hour or so away from our house but he still had to drive to his dads and meet the rest of the "team" there. So he golfed all morning and into the afternoon.

So when Sunday rolled around. We quit. We made a parental decision to skip scouts on Sunday. There is a point where we need to see each other as a family. My husband needed to see his wife and kids. My kids needed to see their dad. That's exactly what we did.

There are times that each and every weekend is dedicated to everyone else that we don't dedicate anything to ourselves. Sadly, in life we can get so consumed in every other detail we forget about ourselves.

As a wife and mom I spend so much time making sure my husband has what he needs. My kids having what they need that the one moment I take for myself. I realize I do not  have what I need.

Clothing for example- I have spent the last two years pregnant. Now I either donated or misplaced my normal clothes. Let me tell you I am SICK SICK SICK of wearing maternity clothes. But my husband I just bought him new jeans. My kids I just went to the resale store and picked up what they needed.

My hair is a fuzzy frizzy mess. You see I  haven't went to get my hair cut since July 3. Not technically bad because usually I only get my hair cut 1x a year or so. BUT I have had less time to deal with it and I also have a 1 year old who likes to pull on it.  

I haven't slept more then a 4 hour stretch in days. That's typical for a newborn. Let me tell you though having 3 other kids and one of them being just a mere 12 months/12 days older then the youngest I am exhausted no matter when I sit down or lie down.

So when you look at your life. Look at the rat race you're following. Is it a pattern or a habit? Don't forget to take care of yourself. There are only so many calendar days with them and you. Take each day seriously.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Shopping

Today I set out to go shopping. 4 kids in tow. Yes, all 4 and I was going to shop for me.

My kids have been BEGGING to see their Memaw, Aunts, Cousins for the last two weeks. Finally I was in the right place at the right time to possibly meet up. Thankfully, an Aunt came through with her husband and kids.

The original plan was to eat first and shop second. It turned out to be a quick unsuccessful trip to the store before lunch because no one could meet before noon. I didn't get any clothes. I didn't even get to look at the racks much. My youngest got hungry. My 3rd got upset. My 1 and 2 decided that crawling around on the floor was a good idea.

I left and went home after lunch. I put 3 down for a nap. I fed 4. 1 and 2 went outside to play. That was not the plan. I do not mind at all shopping with my kids. I do mind when they act up. I won't put myself through that nor anyone else shopping around me.

Lunch was a fun time. No really "fun" is a nice word. 3 decided to scream and refuse to eat. 4 decided at the end that it was time to eat. 

I might try again to go shopping someday. Until then I will wear my 1 pair of jeans, my maternity bottoms, or my exercise pants because apparently I can not find my 1 pair of shorts that I bought in 2011 or 2012 that I love so much. 

My husband would encourage me to go shopping and he'd take care of the kids. Except for he's busy too. He hasn't run all month. He has been doing scout stuff with our son/kids. He has been doing things for others. Today he's at a wedding. Tomorrow golfing. Sunday we have scouts. It has been crazy.

Now if anyone knows a laundry folder.
A dinner cooker.
Let me know I need a maid and a butler.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Reflecting

4 weeks have passed. This time 4 weeks ago I was holding a very new very just born baby boy. We had yet to name him. He was only few handfuls of minutes old and nameless. Well, unless you were my husband's family and everyone got a different name sent to them :)

Now for the reflection.

September 17, 2009 it was a Thursday. We were on family vacation. We were up visiting my family and our friends. We were headed to the next state when we stopped for a bathroom break at a department store. That was when my daughter (who was 20 months old) decided to hang and twist and give herself nursemaids elbow. We ended up in the local ER for a few hours. In the end she was fine.

September 17, 2011 it was a Saturday. We were out and about. It was a dreary day. We were in the next town over and while I knew I was carrying a baby that was already gone I didn't know the day was going to turn out that way. I ended up in the Emergency Room. The baby we knew was gone was now really gone. And while the circumstances surrounding my visit to the ER were already grim the care I received there wasn't up to par either.  We chose to name the baby "Page."

September 17, 2014 it was a Wednesday. I was checking in to the Family Birth Center at the very same hospital that held the ER mentioned above. This time though my arms were not empty. This time we brought the baby home.


I am glad something positive finally happened on this day. However, it is funny that I sit down to blog today and that is what comes to mind. I couldn't have told you four weeks ago that there was any similarity to that date. Today though, the dates come to mind.