Thursday, February 16, 2017


My big kids love going to PE class. Today the kids are learning a new game called "pass ball" similar to baseball. Except there are 4 bases and you can only run one base at a time and you use your hand/arm to whack the ball.

I have enjoyed watching them learn new games and learn about team work. Unfortunately, my oldest still struggles with being "the best" or on "the winning team" and goodness if he gets hit with a ball he wants to argue or cry. The plus side is....he is getting better. Another plus it is not just him and it is not just related to PE or homeschool kids--so it's normal but I'd like to get it fixed sooner rather than later. My daughter is not this way at all.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

53 years and waiting

Note: this letter is something my momma wrote on March 19, 1996 it was a letter to the editor.

Dear Community,

Nearly 30 years ago on or about February 14, 1964, our family as we knew it was dissolved. There had been 10 of us kids in our family then. My older brother lived with Grandma, and my sister Goldie Ann was resting in the Collins Cemetery at St. Louis, OK. The other 8 of us kids were swooped up one morning before school, dressed and taken to Shawnee. We went to a big building, and in a few minutes the 5 older ones of us were being put into one car, while the three baby boys were being put in another car. We were all scared and crying, but we had been raised to be obedient, so we got in the cars like we were told to. As the babies got in their car, I told my little 2 year old brother Pat, not to cry that I would hold him later. Then we all turned around to look at each other as the cars backed out and went in opposite directions. We looked at each other until the cars were too far apart to see anything. By noon, or a little after, my sister Marie (Sissie), and my brothers Andrew "Bud," Dave (Tiny), and Joe and I (the oldest girl) were checking in at the Whitaker Children's home at Pryor, OK.

From there, the five of us grew up, went to school (some to college too), went to foster homes, and worked our way through life, day by day. In about 1990 or 1991 we all got together again. Then, I found that we are all hard working, Christian people and none of us that were in Whitaker have ever been in any trouble. I am proud of how we all turned out with lives. But through all of this, we have never forgotten our 3 younger brothers, Now, I am hoping that somebody can help me to find them. Not to cause any difficulties, you understand, but just to know. There were so little that they may not remember us, but WE remember them. Siblings are the closest kin  you can ever have, so please help me if you can.

This is what I know: Brother #1: Birth Name: Frederick Eugene Ham- D.O.B. October 7, 1958; nickname "Bo." Brother #2: Birth Name: Patrick Brady Ham-D.O.B. November 20, 1961 born at Shawnee, OK.  Brother #3: Dewey Leonard Ham-D.O.B. March 14 or 15, 1963 born at Shawnee, OK. Parents of these children were Stanford and Ida (McBroom) HAM from rural Asher, OK. Both parents are deceased. The father in 1985 and the mother in 1994.

Please if you know something will help me, write me at (address withheld) or call me at (number withheld)--Collect if necessary and share your information with me. Too, if you know someone with the above birthday's, and think make it is just a coincidence, please remember that "A coincidence is sometimes God's why of getting our attention and 'shining a light.'" Bless you all dear readers, and please, wish me luck.

With Hopeful expectations,

Mary May (Ham) Oakley
Now, here is the update (approximately) 21 years after this letter was written.

Joseph William Ham (Joe) has passed away- 2006 buried in One Creek Valley Cemetery near Finley, OK.
Ida Marie Ham (Sissie) has passed away - 2013 buried at Collins Cemetery near St. Louis, OK (next to Goldie Ann and buried with her parents Stanford and Ida).
Stanley Andrew Ham (Bud) has passed away- 2016 buried in One Creek Valley Cemetery near Finley, OK

We have a lead due to the Ancestery . com DNA test on the possibility of one of her brothers. The DNA test my mom took and the DNA test that one his daughters took....shows a 1st cousin relation. That is a pretty good indication that she has in fact learned that one of her brothers is still alive. If nothing else comes of this....she knows one is okay.

We are still searching for two of the brothers.

Monday, February 13, 2017


We are doing crafts around here....

someone save me!

Sunday, February 12, 2017

My Saturday

It was a day....A day I will remember for sure.

It was weird Friday night. My oldest son gone to church camp. My husband gone camping so he could do a race the next morning. It was just my daughter and two toddler sons.

We started out Saturday morning by mom starting some laundry in the dryer and the washer. A light snack breakfast of fresh fruit and milk. Then heading to a double toddler dentist appointment. After the dentist a late breakfast/early lunch. Then it was time to head home to do a little more laundry switcheroo, and make a birthday card for our 7 year old friend.

Then it was off to the races. We headed to a birthday party. I was a little concerned when I mapped the route from home and I had 20 minutes until it started and it was a 45 minute drive using their suggested routes. Living here for 10 years I tossed their suggestions aside and took a route they did not suggest on maps! I made it in 22 minutes (hey I had to load the toddlers in the van).

After leaving the roller skate party I headed to the finish line to make sure I knew how to get there. Somewhere shy of my destination my TPMS came on. I had a tire go low last week and I assumed it was the same exact tire and since I was on the interstate and the speed limit was 75.....I decided it was best to not pull over in unsafer territory. Come to find out.....I was driving on a very flat tire. I didn't realize it until I turned onto the road to my husbands campsite and my driving sounded funny but it could have been the road because it was made of a different material. Nope, I was driving on a full on flat tire and had I been on the interstate still going my same speed....I was a blowout case.

New van. I could not get the jack out at all. I could not get the jack thing to budge. Oh my. Good thing my husband was camped right in between two scout troops. One troop was in camp. I sent my daughter to go find a man-dad wearing green scout colored bottoms. I had the boys in their car seats still while I got the supplies out, chalked the wheels and such. The man who came over and I let the boys out to run and play at dads camp site. The gentleman helped me get the tire replaced with the spare. He kept asking me "Are you sure you need to change this tire?" My daughter said...."uh theres a giant nail in it!" -- (close baby girl its a screw) and air went in and air came right back out. I was able to put enough air in make jacking the car up easier and getting it off easier.

Thanked my new scout friend and he went back to camp and I went to work taking the cots down, the tent down, dumping the coffee, and packing it up. I had forgotten to grab the spare set of keys to hubs car so I tossed it all in along with everything else in my van.

I had taken stuff to set up in the finish line area like chairs and a screened in area. I could not access it. Wasn't going to try. It was now twilight (almost) ding-dong-dark and I sent $20 with my daughter to the food truck to buy her brothers corn dogs. Since I didn't bring the key I couldn't get to the ice chest, etc......

My patience was waning quite a bit. I had been at the finish line for 2 1/2 hours and at the park for 3 1/2 hours before the boys finished. But they finished. They did 50 miles in one day---each!

Hubs said the people they were running with started out with a goal of a 17 minute mile and that was their first set back. Then they walked the last 4 miles. They were about to start running again and there was a copperhead there. It was dark. Copperhead in the middle of their trail. Copperhead left and they decided walking was not so bad. My last text to them when they said "one mile" was to step it up as I was going bat shit crazy! I think my last actual words out loud were "longest stupid mile ever!" My toddlers were done with the day. They were making their own race, having their own fun, but just causing chaos (like almost knocking over a halogen light and blinding people, etc). Then this nice man walks up....he helps with the timing. He said I've been watching you. You are doing an amazing job. It's hard to be a weekend race widow. I enjoyed my five minutes talking to him and then another guy came over and said he had just DNF'd a runner for xxx xxx xxx and so they were going to take care of that. Anyway, he walked away and minutes later daddy crossed.

It was a long night. I had to drive home last night going a mere 58 miles per hour. You know because I had the donut on my van. I am one who actually reduces my speed when this comes up like you're supposed to but we made it home safely last night.

The toddlers and the girl slept in until almost 9am! I'd say yesterday was a wearing out kind of day.